You and I or You and Me: Which Is Correct?
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation
You and I or You and Me: Which Is Correct?
Even those who pay attention to grammar can allow certain inaccuracies to slip in, particularly in informal communication.
One of the most prevalent grammatical errors appears in how we apply phrases such as you and I and you and me. Writers and speakers might use one or the other to sound articulate and yet be off the mark.
With that in mind, let’s review how to keep precision well within view.
When to Use You and I vs. You and Me
First, let’s establish that either you and I or you and me can be correct depending on the context. Using the proper phrase is simply a matter of identifying the phrase’s role in the sentence.
In grammatical terms, I is a subject pronoun, and me is an object pronoun. That means you would use I to express that you yourself are performing an action and me to indicate you are receiving an action.
As understood in those terms, you and I is the right phrase when we are the subject of a sentence (performing the action), and you and me is correct when we are an object in a sentence (receiving the action).
Examples
You and I have been shopping for hours. (subject performing the action)
You and I beat our previous high scores for bowling that night. (subject performing the action)The professor gave you and me deductions for talking in class. (indirect object receiving the action)
The rain was pouring down on you and me at the bus stop. (object of a preposition)
As you can see, it’s you and I when we initiate the action and you and me when we don’t.
You and I vs. You and Me: Another Way to Remember
An easy way to keep these expressions straight is to ask yourself what you would write if the statement was using only I or me. In other words, take “you and” out of the sentence and see whether the remaining text feels correct.
For example, suppose you have written:
You and I should go to the park.
Now take out “You and”:
I should go to the park.
Most of us will intuit right away that this is the right use of the pronoun. If on the other hand we wrote me should go to the park, it would not sound right. Thus we know that you and I is the correct choice.
Because we are so used to “you and I” in conversation and even in some writing, at times the correct English might sound wrong. With practice and repetition in your writing, however, you can fine-tune your grammatical ear to achieve precision with your eloquence.
Pop Quiz
Choose the correct phrase in each sentence.
1. Let’s keep that information between [you and I / you and me].
2. I think they might ask [you and I / you and me] to volunteer for the trade show.
3. [You and I / You and me] should get the tickets now while they’re still available.
4. The choir director thinks that [you and I / you and me] should harmonize on that part of our solo.
5. Jodie said she’s probably going to give [you and I / you and me] the rest of the day off.
Pop Quiz Answers
1. Let’s keep that information between you and me. (object of a preposition)
2. I think they might ask you and me to volunteer for the trade show. (direct object)
3. You and I should get the tickets now while they’re still available. (subject)
4. The choir director thinks that you and I should harmonize on that part of our solo. (subject)
5. Jodie said she’s probably going to give you and me the rest of the day off. (direct object)
Have More Grammar Questions?
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Used your site for the first time today. Answered my question. Very easy to understand your explanation and examples. Yes, I passed the test.
Please help me with the following. Which options are grammatically correct
Option A
“Who made cake?”
“Me.”
Option B
“Who made the cake?”
“Sally and me.”
Option C
“Who made the cake?”
“Sally and I.”
Option D
“Who made the cake?”
“Sally and I did”
In formal writing, Option D is best with an added period at the end of the sentence. Option C is an example of omitted but understood content: Sally and I (did [make the cake]). It is acceptable and grammatical used in dialogue or in less-formal communication.
Is this sentence correct?
“It will only be you and me at the party.”
This is confusing because “you and I” are the ones who will be at the party, but the word “it” seems to be doing the action as the phrasing is reversed. I suppose if you switch “you and me” for “us” then it definitely would be an object pronoun, so I assume my sentence is correct.
The sentence construction you cite is an example of the grammatical expletive. The actual sentence is “Only you and I will be at the party.” As our post I Subject, Your Honor indicates, if the sentence is a subject, a form of be (e.g., is, was, were), and a subject complement, we would use the subjective case (“you and I”).
Please help me with this: “These are texts between Becky and me/I.” What is correct? I keep hearing people say “Becky and I,” and for some reason it doesn’t sound correct.
Thank you in advance!
“Between Becky and me” is a prepositional phrase. “Me” is the object of the preposition “between.” Therefore, the object pronoun “me” is correct. See our post I vs. Me for more information.
“Think about Howard and how seniors like you and (me or I) should act in light of this situation.”
“Like” is often a stand-in for “similar to” or “similarly to.” Therefore, what follows would be the object of a preposition: “Think about how seniors [similar to] me should act in light of this situation.”
The alternative to “like” would be “such as.” Which to use would be a matter of the speaker’s intent. In other words, does the speaker mean to refer to seniors similar to him or her, or does the speaker mean to express seniors potentially including him or her?
Similar: “Think about Howard and how seniors like you and me should act in light of this situation.”
Inclusive: “Think about Howard and how seniors such as you and I should act in light of this situation.”
Alan and I’s plan is to see that concert. Is “I’s” ever correct?
Thank you.
No, the word “I’s” is not a grammatically correct pronoun. The correct pronoun is “my.” Our Rule 13 of Pronouns says, “If two people possess the same item, and one of the joint owners is written as a pronoun, use the possessive form for both.” Since you and Alan have the same plan, write “Alan’s and my plan is to see that concert.”
I think this is awesome. These elementary things just throw us to the floor.
I’m struggling to get one of the examples. Isn’t “choir director” the subject in Quiz Question 4? “The choir director thinks that you and I should harmonize on that part of our solo. (subject)” Isn’t the right answer “you and me”?
“Choir director” is the subject of the main clause. “You and I” is the compound subject of the independent clause: “that you and I should harmonize on that part of our solo.” The independent clause also is the direct object of the main clause. For additional insight, see our posts Becoming Savvy with Sentence Structures: Part One, Becoming Savvy with Sentence Structures: Part Two, and Becoming Savvy with Sentence Structures: Part Three.
Which is correct?
Our justice system trust that folks like you and me can examine the testimony of experts…
OR
Our justice system trust that folks like you and I can examine the testimony of experts…
The subject of the sentence is the singular noun “system.” Therefore, use the singular verb “trusts.” See our post When to Add s to a Verb. When trying to determine the correct pronoun, one way is to see how it sounds when you use each pronoun individually. It sounds right to say, “I can examine the testimony of experts” instead of “Me can examine the testimony of experts.” Therefore, I is correct. In addition, our confusing words page on the word Like might be of interest to you.
Which is correct? “Let’s you and I go out to dinner,” or “Let’s you and me go out to dinner”?
Your sentence communicates “Let us [Let’s] go out to dinner.” “You and I” in this context repeats the object “us,” making it too an object: i.e., “Let us (you and me) go out to dinner.” Such usage might be common in casual writing or conversation, but in formal writing, we would recommend “Let’s go out to dinner” or “You and I should go out to dinner.”
“You and I” replace with “we.”
“You and me” replace with “us.”
After reading that “I is a subject pronoun, and me is an object pronoun,” I jump to the quick solution:
Just replace “you and I” with the subject pronoun “we.” Replace “you and me” with the object pronoun “us.” That is it!
In fact, I would dare say that we should not use “you and I/me” altogether. Just use “us” or “we”!
To get this right, to say “me and you are stupid” is incorrect; and I should say “I and you are stupid” instead?
It is grammatical courtesy for the writer to place his or her name last unless there is a good reason to do otherwise.
Therefore, “You and I …” is correct.
Thank you for the explanation. I was writing an email and I wrote, “Please let Mike and me talk to Leah.” Google corrected my sentence by changing “me” to “I.” I believe it was incorrect to do that. If there were only one person as the object, then, it would have been “Let me talk to Leah.” Changing the objects to two should not change the grammatical structure. In your opinion, what is the correct way to say what I wanted to say?
You are correct. When you use each pronoun or noun individually you would say, “Let me talk to Leah.”
It is grammatical courtesy for the writer to place his or her name last unless there is a good reason to do otherwise.
Therefore, “Let Mike and me talk to Leah” is correct.
I agree with all these responses. I listen to public speakers a lot of the time, and they rarely use correct grammar. I had a wonderful grammar teacher in high school, and if she heard someone using incorrect grammar she would shake her head! That was 70 years ago. I still remember what I learned in Mrs. Cherry`s freshman English grammar class! What a wonderful lady!
Is it good grammar to say “It is I that opened the door”? What rule governs the phrase “It is l”?
Our Rule 2 of Pronouns says, “Subject pronouns are also used if they rename the subject. They will follow to be verbs, such as is, are, was, were, am, will be, had been, etc.”
Examples:
It is he.
This is she speaking.
It is we who are responsible for the decision to downsize.
In addition, our post Who vs. That says, “Who refers to people. That may refer to people, animals, groups, or things, but who is preferred when referring to people.” Therefore, write “It is I who opened the door.”
How about in this situation? When one half of a couple is referring to that couple as a couple, would the person say, “you and I” or “you and me”? Example: One person in that couple says to the other in terms of a break-up, “There is no more ‘you and I!’ ” Or would it be “There is no more ‘you and me!’ “?
The sentence construction you cite is an example of the grammatical expletive. The actual sentence is “You and I are no more.” As our post I Subject, Your Honor indicates, if the sentence is a subject, a form of be (e.g., is, was, were), and a subject complement, we would use the subjective case (“you and I”).
Thanks for the affirmation! I see and hear this misused so often that I wish we could change the rule (jk).
What about this one? “It’s a big day for Joe and me at the convention.”
If you take “Joe and” out of the sentence, you would say “It’s a big day for ‘me’ at the convention,” not “I.” Therefore, your sentence is written correctly.
I have one example that bugs me:
“There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true, we’ll make a better day
Just you and ___”
It seems to me that it should be “I” since “we” are the actors, the ones who will “make a better day.”
Michael Jackson seems to differ, despite “I” being a better match for “lives” in the previous sentence.
Song lyrics often take linguistic liberties for rhythm, sound, and effect and are therefore not always grammatically correct. In daily formal writing, we would write “you and I” will make a better day.
What would you say about the Beatles song “Two of us”?
They are using both forms as subject. How this is explained?
Song lyrics often take grammatical liberties to accommodate the rhythm and sound of what’s being sung.